HUGE BLOGPOST , i'd appreciate it if some kchingus read it and gave me some feedback
so this blogpost is gonna be related to >>538082
ive been lying in bed quietly for about 30 mins earlier and staring at the ceiling and i figured its time to do some digging in my brain and figure out what i should do next in life
you know how they always say that its not the destination that matters, but the journey - i never quite paid attention to this before, but maybe i should have
i dont know if thats a load of bullshit but if there is some truth to it then i am certainly not on the right path, everything i have been doing and working towards for pretty much all of the last decade has felt like an unenjoyable chore that i never would have embarked on if not for the illusion of the far-away destination i am working towards
the only pieces of enjoyment came from escapism and some few times when hanging out with a close friend or another that lead to moments or conversations that resonated with me
i cant ever figure out what i have to do next to improve things or what path i should take, instead i often overthink about the (bad) past decisions i made and how things could have turned out much better for me if i went back in time and changed some things... because looking back on the past and realizing you could have made better decisions is much easier than knowing what's the right decision to make now or in the future
now for the controversial takeaway, maybe getting so deep into kpop wasnt such a good idea afterall, it fucked up my standards in regards of what i want to settle for and what i think is my endgame
at times i feel like i will never feel fulfilled or happy after being so long on this path where i think its easy to get lost in far-away goals that are a lot more like dreams than real, attainable goals